Been three weeks since my mother passed away. I missed her tremendously. Its like theres a kind of emptiness within me, within the house. Every spots reminded me of her, her bedroom, her chair, places where she used to sit, right down to every little things. My regret is that I was not able to spend more time with her, even from the time I was growing up. In the early days I was off to a boarding school when I was thirteen yrs old, then to college, and then to an away working life. The only time spent with her during those times were school holidays,monthly visits and vacations. Its only since March last year that I decided to come home and stay with her.I am glad that fate has played a hand and that I was able to be with her till her last days. Or I wouldnt have forgiven myself for being so selfish.
Looking back, at how difficult it must have been for her, being a single parent after my father passed away. She did the best she could in her own way. And I couldnt thank her enough. Nothing in this world would measure up to all her hard work and sacrifices. Its only when I started working that I managed to ease away her burden.
But I still wish that I would have done for more her. I feel as if I havent thanked nor repay her enough. Although everybody knew that she was happy when I finally came home to stay. Thats the only consolation that I have, that I was able to care for her personally towards the end.
What I have now is only memories to treasure. Snippets of life, like a reel of films playing in my head.
Her presence will always stay in my heart and in my prayer every single day.